Stopping at Two – A Pledge to My Two Children
My mother had five children and my father had five children. I am the only child, from their marriage 37 years ago. They separated when I was very small and my mother remarried having four more children. My father had several relationships also having a further four children. I have 5 half sisters – Samantha, Susan, Lorraine, Marie and Keelie. I have 3 half brothers – Thomas, Richard and Craig. We all share one parent in common!
I have two very beautiful much wanted and planned for children but unlike my prolific parents, I will not be giving birth to any more offspring. I may foster or adopt one day but will not be pregnant again. This makes me a little sad especially as I grew up thinking I too wanted a large family, but there are three very good reasons why I have made this decision not to have any more kids!
1. There are too many people in the world – see my previous blog post on the Optimum Population Trust’s Stop At Two Pledge http://www.tishtashtoys.com/blog/2009/08/i-love-my-kids/
2. I now feel a bit sorry for the two children I have, having to deal with the effects of a soaring world population and the predicted catastrophic results of increased greenhouse gases – so maybe it’s best not to inflict such an ordeal on any more human beings from my loins!
3. I grew up with 4 younger siblings and not much attention from my mother (who was single for part of my childhood). I don’t think my mother intentionally ignored me, she just seemed to be either pregnant or looking after a small (noisy!) baby for most of my childhood. I love all my siblings dearly but I don’t think most of us were planned and really thought through. My own mother recently said as much as she loves all her children, if she did it again she would only have two children, and advised me to do the same.
In my family now, there are two parents and two children so there’s always a knee to sit on or a cuddle to be had. Put even one more child in the equation and I’m not sure how we’d share ourselves and I’d be heartbroken to watch either one of my two (pictured below) ‘pushed out’. If you are a parent reading this, you will understand how there never seems to be enough hours in the day, especially if you also work full-time like I do.
If you are still reading….I would love to hear your comments. Please post below.
Well.. my mother had three children and she would never regret having any of us. If the government recommended we should only have 1 child, would you wish you had never had your son?
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[...] Hi Florence, thank you for your comment on my previous post Stopping at Two – A Pledge to my Two Children. [...]
Thanks Florence – I’ve replied in a new blog post http://www.tishtashtoys.com/blog/2009/12/how-many-children-should-we-have/
From a young child I always wanted three children and that is what I now have. I was lucky enough to be able to stay at home with my kids when they were small so I hope they have all had a fair share of my attention but I will say that the extra one, after having two, is real hard work. It’s amazing how one more can make it so much harder, so a wise choice to stick with two although I wouldn’t change having three for the world and although its hard its worth it!!
Thanks Julie, I’ve heard that from others that the step up to three is difficult but then people say after that it’s always as manic after that whether you have 4, 5 or 6. I know as the eldest I was often helping my mum, and kinda gained a childcare qualification during my own childhood. I’ve made a huge effort with my eldest to not ask her to do all the running around when the second one was little, although she will happily offer to help now. I’d like her to enjoy her childhood as a child not a mothers’s assistant if you know what I mean. Enjoy your beautiful three babies Julie, and thank you again for your comment.
[...] I’ve been blogging GREEN over on my business website recently and have thought that I needed a brand new blog dedicated purely to green, eco and environmental issues. Just this week I’ve been talking about the very first East Devon Green Party meeting which took place in Sidmouth last Saturday 12th December 2009 plus other issues on my mind like future food shortages in the UK, overpopulation of the planet and my own choice to stop at two children. [...]
Interestingly, though I had only one child myself (and found it pretty hard going), one of my dearest friends opted for nine!
They range in age from 2 yrs up to 17yrs and all but the baby have their own job(s) to do. There is no such thing as the eldest ones being dumped on, the 7 yr old helps the 5 yr old and the 5 yr old helps the baby! In fact, when I went round the other day, the 5 yr old had made dessert for everyone and was thrilled with himself.
They have two parents and live-in granny who love them and make sure they all get individual time. They are the happiest and friendliest kids I’ve come across.
Horses for courses, I say.
Thanks Marion – If I was their mum I think I’d be worrying how they are all going to eat in 50 years time! Sorry!!!
I keep coming back to this because I love it. Have added it to our blog as well. I was sick this week and have spent all week fending off enquiries as to whether or not “number three was finally on the way”….I shall refer them all to this blog post!