December10
Hi Florence, thank you for your comment on my previous post Stopping at Two – A Pledge to my Two Children.
Florence says “Well.. my mother had three children and she would never regret having any of us. If the government recommended we should only have 1 child, would you wish you had never had your son?”
My mother never regretted any of us too Florence, but in hindsight she says she might have planned her life differently. Of course I wouldn’t wish I’d never had my boy. I’m not saying anyone should TELL anyone else how many children they should or shouldn’t have but perhaps now is the time for us to start talking about how many children we are all having and their future – all 9.15 billion of them in 2050! We should debate the issue don’t you think?
I have met several mothers who told me their third child was an ‘accident’ and not intended.
We need much much better birth control services – yes…. in this country, in the UK!
I had a scare a few months after having my son (now aged 4) when I thought I was in the early stages of pregnancy. I called a helpline for advice on a very early chemical termination and was basically told because I was a mother of two in my thirties, I should just get on with the pregnancy. I was basically wasting their time. Had I been my normal self I would have made a complaint, but I was a vulnerable confused woman looking for advice and guidance. Luckily for me I got my period, or perhaps had a very early miscarriage, as so many women do who don’t even realise they’ve been pregnant (see http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/miscarriage1.shtml)
I had never wanted a baby less in my life when this happened or was more distraught at the thought of being pregnant – with an unwanted child. Both my children were meticulously planned and desperately wanted. After this scare, I changed from the unreliable pill (or unreliable me – I kept forgetting it, probably due to having a very young baby!) to having an implanon contraceptive implant put into my arm. The doctor who put it in was very surprised to see a thirty three year old mother of two having an implant as they are still extremely uncommon and generally given to 18 year olds. She said it was great I was having it though as it was such a reliable and convenient new method. At the time I had it, only about 2% of women in the UK were choosing that method (or even aware it existed maybe?). I’ve told lots of other women I have it, as I recommend they can get an impant too, especially if they want to avoid getting pregnant by ‘accident’.
Talking about population control is such an emotive subject isn’t it. My best friends will tell you how they remember me saying I wanted at least 4 or 5 children as a teenager. I feel as a young woman, my supercharged female hormones controlled me and my desire to have lots of children was, well ridiculously HUGE! If you had said to me back then, you know it would be so much better for the planet if you just had one or two children, I would have screamed at you!
I do understand anyone who desires to have lots of children, I really (really) do BUT this is not just about us, it’s about the future of these kids we bring into the world. It’s about a world that’s too small for all these people. It’s about animal species becoming extinct because people are chop-happy with the forests they live in. Do I need to go on?
If you want lots of children – why not adopt them, there are about 85,000 children in care in the UK right now.
